Neal was here

Chuck Norris reads Chuck Norris Facts

Among the best things. Ever.

In other Norris news, Chuck had his own cartoon for awhile: Chuck Norris Karate Commandos and his his action figure.

And some apparently real facts:

In 1997, Chuck Norris was the first man ever in the Western Hemisphere to be awarded an 8th degree Black Belt Grand Master recognition in the Tae Kwon Do system. This was a first in 4,500 years of tradition.

Chuck Norris holds a black belt in Shinto-Ryu Karate, and a brown belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu;

Chuck Norris is the founder of the Chun Kuk Do (“Universal Way”) form and the United Fighting Arts Federation

In 1968, Chuck Norris fought and won the World Professional MiddleWeight Karate championships by defeating the World’s Top Fighters. He held that title until 1974 when he retired undefeated.

In 1969, Chuck Norris won Karate’s triple crown for the most tournament wins of the year,and was inducted into the Black Belt Hall of Fame

In 1975, Chuck Norris was inducted into the Black Belt Hall of Fame as Instructor of the Year

Chuck Norris is an offshore powerboat racer. In 1991, Chuck won the World Off Shore Powerboat championships.

In 1991 set a new world record by racing a 38 foot Scarab boat 605 miles across the Great Lakes, from Chicago to Detroit, in 12 hours and 8 minutes.

Read it and may your heart be warmed:

Penny-Arcade on Mac

So I have to again decide how I feel about the Apple. “Would your opinion of the Apple really be persuaded by a webcomic?” Well… yes.

So let’s review the mac culture. (and I’m no historian, so this is the history as I remember it)

Late 80s – Steve Jobs gets the bright idea to do what everybody else is doing, only do it slightly better. He builds the first Apple. Or maybe it was the Apple IIe. Back then computers were so new, any computer was fantastic. There wasn’t the same controversy.

Then the Macintosh showed up. With WINDOWING and a MOUSE. Xerox lost their nifty software to Apple through some schemery or money transfer, and Macintosh debuts it to the public. Microsoft and PC respond with Windows 3. We all remember it.

Then some time passes as technology improves. Apple doesn’t do much, the Macintoshes are out there, graduating from OS to OS. Then comes the era where I remember a perceived difference between Mac and PC. My cousin had one. OS7 I think he ran. It had Apple Talk. Coooooool. But I was still cooler with my home built PC and my freeware apple-talk like program that ran in QBasic. Shazaam. The Mac was still a nerdy thing. You still had to ‘understand computers’ to run it. ‘Trendies’ weren’t all up ons yet.

Then some more time passes. The Macs I know are old and slow and incompatible with everything. LAME.

More time. iMac shows up. iMac. It’s a pretty thing with it’s pretty colors and pretty interface. But the hardware is lousy and capabilities (although flashy) are limiting and not upgradable. LAME. Same thing with the iBook. The true nerds among us know better than to fall for the pretty, and we laboriously work away on our Unix workstations and Linux (or Windows) PCs at home and scoff at those who are swindled into mac pain.

Then the Power line came. PowerBook. PowerPC. Both very cool. Things start to look up for Apple. The nerd culture starts to recognize the power of the machines. Graphic processing comes to it’s own on the Macintosh. They begin to be actually cool. But then the ‘trendy’ culture also latches on to make their indie films and whatnot. And it’s true – MAC people are a different brand of folk. They like to thing they are user oriented, and friendly, and maybe they are, but if you’re not of their kind, you definitely don’t fit in. Case in point: SWITCH TO MAC PARODY

So even though it’s now ridiculously trendy, the PowerPC architecture is fantastic and can do a lot. And then Apple makes the move to *NIX based OS. Whoa. Nerds of the world, hold the phone. *NIX is not Trendy? When did hell freeze over, and why aren’t billions of women now sending me their phone numbers and full-body photographs. So Apple lands a LOT of credibility. It’s still flashy and ‘intuitive’, but with REAL power. Not this ‘mac power’. So my opinion sways toward them. They are something now. I could have one and appreciate it.

Now: nerds everywhere are beginning to recognize and accept the mac. Even welcome it. Many of my friends are switching. And liking it. Granted, they are not the techno-savviest of my friends, but those of us who are are not afraid to consider them.

So I’m thinking: uh oh. Trendy wave #2 – trend of the nerds. Are we to be unified under one power, and that power is Apple? I don’t know that I can accept being grouped with the former ‘trendy mac users’. I don’t relate to them at all, and neither they I. And, since I”m such a indie-trendy guy, I can’t be a firm part of any real trend. I must either be on the front edge, or ride the wave with a device of my own. iPod? Clearly the superior MP3 player, but it’s so damn trendy that it’s hard to have one. This unfettered power that Apple can wield is grotesque and intimidating. What happens if Apple goes evil? So do all these followers!

So as awesome as the Macs are these days, I think I will still rebell. I shall ride the AMD64 X2 wave. I shall use Linux and Microsoft (clearly more evil than Apple, and inherently more hated, and thus more attractive to me somehow – people are watching Microsoft).

So that’s the rant. Conclusion: macs are good, but I can’t have one. READ THE COMIC.

Hidden passages, installed in your home!

Okay, these are pretty dang funny:

http://www.vintage21.com/findex.html

Find the videos and watch them. Especially the Jesus videos.

This comic makes me laugh. This is how it goes. Truly. I was there.

I don’t know what you’re doing, but you should be reading THIS:

This is among the most amazing things I’ve seen today:

Oh Ricky, you’re so fine

Chuck Norris: just look at this guy.

MAN. I once read that Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

I need to travel.

Proof that aluminum foil helmets do, at best, NOTHING to stop the intrusive forces from entering your mind. And in some cases, actually enhances the signal!?

http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/