Neal was here

Unwilling to settle in for the day, I got on the motorcycle Easter morning to do a little exploring, and, with hope, some thinking.

I saw great sights, rode great rides, and had a smoke. It was glorious. It was Easter.

A few of the more notable notes from that morning:

1.) Many churches are distinctively empty on Easter morning.

And there are a lot of churches on Tanque Verde, including the infamous “cool church”, which still intrigues and frightens me.

However, I drove past probably 10 churches and only saw cars in about 3 of them. I wonder if they all go to the same sunrise place. If not, there are a lot of random people in the desert staring at the sun on that Sunday morning.

Right next to the cool church was a large Lutheran church, however, and the line to get into that parking lot was about a block long.

2.) All the really cool places to ride in north-east Tucson are blocked off by ‘security gates’. Seems the rich don’t like sightseers on their driveway.

Nonetheless, I was able to see some really cool publically-available spots, such as this one:

This is at the top of a ridiculously steep hill on Snyder just off N Kolb road. The view was fantastic, and trying to get to the top was an interesting adventure on the motorcyele. Even more interesting was not rolling down the hill while taking pictures. I had driven past this road hundreds of times and had never taken the time to see the top. A sadness, really.

I also saw a decent number of folks wondering where the blazes I was going as I navigated my way straight to the end of several dead-ends and had to turn around, only to pass them yet again, causing some laughter in their hearts.

To me, it just reinforced the idea that life, like exploration, leads you to a certain number of dead ends. But if you don’t look around, you’ll miss some of the most intriguing sights.

3.) Easter is the time to be outside in Tucson

It was 65 or 70 degrees (F), and there was a slight breeze. The sun was shining, and the fauna was blooming just enough to give a slight smell to the air.

There were people everywhere. Everyone and their dog were outside walking or biking or shopping or pulling weeds.

4.) I need thinking time.

Except that I don’t remember the details about what I thought. I remember thinking through relationships, life goals, personal problems, religion, and the-life-less-ordinary, but none of it stuck through till today, Wednesday, other than that I thoroughly enjoy the quiet time to let my brain process all the info that had accumulated over the months.

I was watching home videos with my parents when I realized they were thirty-five during the filming. I am not slowing in my progression toward that age, and I felt quite old.

Then I thought about how my dad must feel sometimes to have a kid that’s closing in on 30.

Every now and then, I see people crying and wish I could live that hard.

To live that in-the-moment such that emotions can grab control and really, really let you live. To free you from the self-evaluation and self-awareness that limits you to acceptable behaviour. This, to me, is to live.

I’ve had a few of these moments, albeit few and far between and usually involved hurt quite deep, and usually a ridiculous physical activity, such as punching my car, or walking 4 miles at 1am, and usually involving a girl. But in those rare moments, I truly feel alive.

The rest of the time is spent just avoiding life because it might sting.

[ image yoinked from http://www.paperheart.org/imtoosad/ ]

Ref last post for an expository on my morning mournings.

However, it is now a new day and I have survived the one month under-intensive-review period. I feel accomplished. I have mastered the mediocre art of not sleeping in. I win.

I can again slack.

Just kidding.

Your friends will find other friends. They will from time to time prefer to hang out with other people. You will be the odd man out. You shifted in, you’ll shift out. It might hurt.

Does that mean we shouldn’t invest in our friends?

Also:

it’s surprisingly hard to properly care about somebody when you have a crush on them.

Life can plod on uneventfully sometimes, can’t it. Bleh. BORING. It’s 12:45 and I’m required to sleep, but my day feels unfilled.

[this is me being awesome]

IBM has launched a new campaign to promote the IDP:

The IDP (or Individual Development Plan, for those non-acronym savvy) is merely a sheet of paper that outlines your personal development goals (like “win an emmy”) and how you plan on doing that (like “make a tv show”). Usually, these only get filled out by managerial request (requirement). But the new campaign makes me feel all blue and fuzzy inside to fill out my IDP!

[don't gasp]

We’re finding out as a culture that all of our sexual ‘liberty’ is not necessarily making us happier or more progressive. Turns out we’re just getting more distant, less satisfied, and more depressed.

Men less hungry for real sex due to pr0n.
“Not Tonight, Honey. I’m Logging On.”

What better argument can you make? God knew what he was doing when he set up the moral principles we know and [as a society] seem to despise occassionally.

On the slightly more humorous side, Smarter kids do it less. If I remember right, it’s these kids who wish they were dumb enough to indulge. Or, again proof of the Idiocracy principle.

Another reason to love Subaru. Short version: they reuse all their waste at the Indiana plant. No trash in 3 years.

How to deal with religious people if you are an athiest.

From the standpoint of a non-athiest, it makes an interesting read. If you’re trying to be impactful in your community and truly make the lives of those around you better, it’s good to know how you are viewed and how you can be viewed, and how to try to break through that to establish respectful conversation on any topic. Obviously, from the religious standpoint, we feel a pressure to save those who do not believe from the hell we believe is imminent in their future, but you cannot ever discount the thought process many people have gone through to arrive where they believe. Heh and most of these tips can be used the other way as well, “How to deal with athiests when you are a religious people.”